In a move that saddened Virat Kohli so much so that he decided to shave his beard and instantly pass the baton of macho-hood to Stuart Broad, ICC’s, Dave Richardson declared the 2017 edition of the Champions Trophy stands annulled.
You read that right.
“This is not done”, a voice roared in disbelief.
“Teri Maa ki…” was Kohli’s immediate reaction, to Richardson’s decision which he labeled hostile but one, who, many, including West Indies Captain Holder found wise in ICC’s somewhat rational stand given how, most man-of-the-match awards have been dubbed as ‘rain of the match awards’ in the ongoing Champions Trophy, 2017.
“O calm down Virat, that’s the way it goes sometimes. I promise I’ll get Steve Smith’s Test record swiped with yours. You okay with that bud, huh?” Pat came Richardson’s reply.
Shocked and dissuaded by how unfair Cricket’s giant administrators had behaved, smashing his team’s hopes of once again wearing white jacket on blue trousers to celebrate in what could’ve been another Champions Trophy triumph, Kohli pounced on the treadmill and phoned Anushka.
Meanwhile, reactions from rest of the Cricketing fraternity began pouring in irritating Richardson enough to throw his mushroom soup out of his cabin window.
“Dave, not done mate”, AB didn’t seem too happy with the call, adding further, “if it upsets you that we lost against Pakistan then, I promise you I’ll score more than my duck in the last game”.
Silent, Richardson seemed unmoved, as he preferred to browse N. Srinivasan’s net worth online.
“Inshallah, the boys had only begun to play well but as you wish sir, after all, when it rains, it becomes difficult for Amir to control overstepping. You know, his history with overstepping so we aren’t complaining”, Pakistan’s Sarfraz Ahmed didn’t seem too troubled.
But the most ballistic reaction to Richardson’s stunner came from 29-year-old Mushfiqur Rahim who, perhaps in a fit of anger, something that could be equated to North Korea promising yet again failing to bombard America, threw his bat in the Sophia Gardens, whilst preparing for his next game.
Unluckily though, the throw from the keeper, in stark contrast to the dead straight aims he’s taken in his career, fell on India’s Shashank Manohar- Dave Richardson’s close friend and an important resource of the ICC.
And that was that.
With most games, rain-curtailed, tragically owing to the not so somnolent English weather, that seems to have been talking more than Jimmy Neesham’s bat, ICC’s noble agenda, of inviting all cricket playing teams to play under constant rains only to then instruct them to head home with non-refundable return tickets (to their home of course)- fell on its face.
But doubts persist as you nose dig in frustration to understand when next would the ICC be organising Cricket’s mini World Cup so as to accommodate rain-interruption?
Perhaps, build a ground in Alaska ICC? But, for that you might have to go through Trump.